Category: Musings

I just watched The Hiding Place (1975) movie, and would like to share the following reactions:

There are so many moments and so many quotes in this movie that I wish I had a transcript for it just to go back through and highlight and paste all over my walls for inspiration. However, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the one that will stick with me the most is when Codie ten Boom’s sister Betsie reminds us all that “ there is no pit so deep than He is not deeper still”.

In the beginning of the movie, I felt ashamed to be German. But as I continue to watch the movie, I realized that this is just an example of broken people living in a broken world.  This is not in any way to excuse the horrors of the holocaust, nor of any current day concentration camps, persecutions, sex, trafficking, or any of the like.

But it was after the movie that I realized am I not just as bad? In literal terms have a done the same actions? No. But in my heart have a not hated? Have I not been judgmental?

Afterwords, such a sat in silence came over me, and I began to pray. The scripture verse in Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭3‬-‭4‬ ‭AMP‬‬:  “Why do you look at the [insignificant] speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice and acknowledge the [egregious] log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me get the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye?”

Before going into the next passage, I would like to highlight the fact of the phrase “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3: 23-24) This includes me. This includes the Nazis. This includes the families with the two children in the white picket fence the cars in the perfect jobs and successes. Outwardly we may say “well I’m not as bad as that person; I’m not a murderer I haven’t committed the same atrocities, so why should I for one, show them any compassion and for two, not to acknowledge the fact that in my own way, I have done the very same although it be at it be in a different shape and form.

In my own suffering, throughout my life, my own battles, I have faced in the many ways I have failed to overcome them It forces me to reconcile with this fact that we all sin. Be it gossip, slander, judgment, hatred, pride, self-righteousness. Just as the color black is black and the color white is white, sin is sin.

To be frank, I know this is a very, very hard pill to swallow. And many will not understand “for their eyes have not been opened, nor do their ears hear” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

To be German so often is synonymous with being a Nazi. But there are hundreds of examples of other heritages, who are judged by the atrocities of their nations instead of as the individuals they are. Am I a Nazi? No. But I am a sinner.

My grandmother always used to say “ I am no better, but no worse than anyone else”.  I think this memory of her saying that underscores the emphasis of the beginning of this entire post.

Today I was complaining about twisting my ankle and yet I know someone who has no legs from the knees down. And frankly, this movie, even only a short while through it made me think “Lord, thank you for the fact that I have legs and ankles, even if they do hurt.”

There are so many things my life, to be grateful for, and I often lose sight of this in my own struggles, via it being neurological, emotional or simple pessimism. Yes, there are many things that I struggle with. But I have so many things to be grateful for.

Before I stopped, praying I had the phrase “restore to me, the joy of my salvation”, which can be found in the following verse Psalms‬ ‭51‬:‭10‬-‭12‬ ‭(see below). But it does not come without a challenge. It begins with “create in me a clean heart oh God”.

This means taking responsibility for my actions. What is important to note it is that I do not live in yesterday’s sorrows, regrets, shame, despondency, and self-loathing. However, it does call for me to recognize the errors of my way. And that happens on a daily, if not hourly basis.

Psalms‬ ‭51‬:‭10‬-‭12‬ ‭AMP‬‬: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a right and steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit.” Is my very spirit willing to change? Am I willing to surrender, take responsibility for and give over my failures- to look at myself in the mirror and really see all that lays within?

‭‭This brings me into the segue of the verses below. What is paramount to me can be found in Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭8‬ ‭AMP‬‬: “But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

If you have continued to read this far, then first, I applaud your willingness. I applaud your openness to continue to read, because in the following verses there is joy to be seen in the end.

Yes, there is a darkness in humanity, and there always will be. However, if you do read the following verses through, you will find that “there is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still.” Please look at these from one who can say that they have lived on both sides of the coin. My darkness was very dark indeed, but the Light in my life, now is not only greater, then that, but it also wipes away all of my previous transgressions, and does not hold them against me. I am no longer a spiritual refugee. I am a daughter of the King.

I am well aware that the Scriptures referenced below or long, but I promise if you read all of it, you will find hope beyond all understanding.

I pray that you read these verses through. And that you will see the joy, peace and eternal salvation offered you if you are simply just willing to accept it, just as you have been willing to read all that you have of this post so far. It is a free gift, not something to be earned, but something simply to ask for- forgiveness and surrendering your life to His grace and mercy because of Christ’s sacrifice.

Romans‬ ‭3‬:‭22‬-‭25‬ ‭AMP‬‬ as referenced above, provides a measure of hope beyond that of all of mankind’s limited capacity to fully grasp.

“This righteousness of God comes through faith in Jesus Christ for all those [Jew or Gentile] who believe [and trust in Him and acknowledge Him as God’s Son]. There is no distinction, since all have sinned and continually fall short of the glory of God, and are being justified [declared free of the guilt of sin, made acceptable to God, and granted eternal life] as a gift by His [precious, undeserved] grace, through the redemption [the payment for our sin] which is [provided] in Christ Jesus, whom God displayed publicly [before the eyes of the world] as a [life-giving] sacrifice of atonement and reconciliation (propitiation) by His blood [to be received] through faith. This was to demonstrate His righteousness [which demands punishment for sin], because in His forbearance [His deliberate restraint] He passed over the sins previously committed [before Jesus’ crucifixion].”

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1 Corinthians‬ ‭2‬:‭9‬-‭14‬, ‭16‬ ‭AMP‬‬ speaks again to the above referenced:

“but just as it is written [in Scripture], “Things which the eye has not seen and the ear has not heard, And which have not entered the heart of man, All that God has prepared for those who love Him [who hold Him in affectionate reverence, who obey Him, and who gratefully recognize the benefits that He has bestowed].” For God has unveiled them and revealed them to us through the [Holy] Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things [diligently], even [sounding and measuring] the [profound] depths of God [the divine counsels and things far beyond human understanding]. For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him? So also no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the [Holy] Spirit who is from God, so that we may know and understand the [wonderful] things freely given to us by God. We also speak of these things, not in words taught or supplied by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining and interpreting spiritual thoughts with spiritual words [for those being guided by the Holy Spirit]. But the natural [unbelieving] man does not accept the things [the teachings and revelations] of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness [absurd and illogical] to him; and he is incapable of understanding them, because they are spiritually discerned and appreciated, [and he is unqualified to judge spiritual matters]. For who has known the mind and purposes of the Lord, so as to instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ [to be guided by His thoughts and purposes].”

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Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭8‬-‭17‬ ‭AMP‬‬ says the following:

“But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Therefore, since we have now been justified [declared free of the guilt of sin] by His blood, [how much more certain is it that] we will be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, it is much more certain, having been reconciled, that we will be saved [from the consequences of sin] by His life [that is, we will be saved because Christ lives today]. Not only that, but we also rejoice in God [rejoicing in His love and perfection] through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received and enjoy our reconciliation [with God]. Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, so death spread to all people [no one being able to stop it or escape its power], because they all sinned. Sin was [committed] in the world before the Law [was given], but sin is not charged [against anyone] when there is no law [against it]. Yet death ruled [over mankind] from Adam to Moses [the Lawgiver], even over those who had not sinned as Adam did. Adam is a type of Him (Christ) who was to come [but in reverse—Adam brought destruction, Christ brought salvation]. But the free gift [of God] is not like the trespass [because the gift of grace overwhelms the fall of man]. For if many died by one man’s trespass [Adam’s sin], much more [abundantly] did God’s grace and the gift [that comes] by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, overflow to [benefit] the many. Nor is the gift [of grace] like that which came through the one who sinned. For on the one hand the judgment [following the sin] resulted from one trespass and brought condemnation, but on the other hand the free gift resulted from many trespasses and brought justification [the release from sin’s penalty for those who believe]. For if by the trespass of the one (Adam), death reigned through the one (Adam), much more surely will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in [eternal] life through the One, Jesus Christ.”

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Testimony

This story of Aslan kept me going even in my unbelief, my wayward lifestyle, my sin, my desperation, my hopelessness. Even as an unbelief I still thought of Aslan as a placeholder for Hod even when I didn’t believe. Two nights before I came back to Christ I had a dream I was standing on a cliff, a gaping ravine in front of me and a white lion on the other cliff facing me. All he said was “you are mine”.  I’ll never forget the power the chronicles of Narnia made in my life, who Aslan represented and that great white lion, the Lion of Judah who called me out of my darkness and despair and called me His own. I realize these stories are an allegory, but I will be forever grateful for their impact because they helped me see Him. The lion in this story is the method and language at that time I could only hear. If I had not been called in any other fashion I doubt I would’ve believed or accepted the Truth. I would’ve turned a deaf ear, lost all remaining scrap of hope and given up wholly and entirely to the depravity, grief, isolation, doubt and lack of any of the smallest of percentages of sense of self worth I had remaining at the time. Yes, this is a story but it brought me back from the brink to the greatest story ever told. I encourage you to consider looking at them in a new light. Even if only for a moment, that moment may carry you through times like those I’ve experienced. This dream is the very reason I tattooed a lion with a crown over the Buddha eyes I had on my upper left arm. I could no longer believe I could attain enlightenment in my own strength. He never let me go, even though He used this narrative as a means to speak to on a language I could understand.

“Do not weep! See, the Lion of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals.” Revelations 5: 5

https://youtu.be/pvIpcvBYTcY