Category: Musings

The Valleys

 

I recently had the pleasure of hearing a new theory on “The Bible Recap” with Tara Lee Cobble as we are finishing out the book of Joshua and all the land allotments. This is an amazing resource to read through the Bible a few chapters at a time but followed by her recap of what was read, answers some questions that may arise, invites discussions, provides insights (although she will result admit not not being a scholar and that she is not the ultimate authority) and most importantly provides what she terms her “God Shot” she saw in this text. As these last few chapters have been about land allotments and was quite dry. She listed in the show notes photos of how the valleys of Israel when looking at it via a topographical map actually look like the Hebrew letter “Shin”; which is used as the first letter for God’s title of Shaddai (which can be translated as “God Almighty, Lord of the Mountains, All-Sufficient One to name a few and is also found in Genesis 17:1 when God was speaking with Abraham and Psalm 91:1).

On day 86  she expounds: The Hebrew people see this letter as sacred, as God’s initial and stamp it on their Mezuzahs which they put on the doorposts of their home that contain scripture in them according to the demand in Deuteronomy 6. In Deuteronomy 12 specifically verses 5, 11 and 21 that that his chosen place of worship when they enter the Holy Land where the tabernacle will be located is a place where he will put his name. Eventually that becomes Jerusalem. In second Chronicles 6:6  we read the following on this thing yet again:

But now I have chosen Jerusalem for my Name to be there, and I have chosen David to rule my people Israel.’

 

Now she goes on to mention that could he be have speaking metaphorically only? Absolutely. But she also introduces this idea of how if you look at the valleys it looks like God stamped his initials, his monogram on Jerusalem. she also brings up the idea that some people have gone so far as to see this shin image in the way the human heart is set up.  Now take all of this with a grain of salt as neither she nor anyone on this planet can give you a definite. Yes, this was God‘s idea from the start – to say that would be suing that they knew the mind of God, which is a huge red flag and impossible.

See Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

 

But this leads me to an interesting idea of how God knows I’m a visual person, and to have this, even as an option is quite intriguing, but also comforting, knowing that even this theory brought up the idea of what I termed in my head, the “valleys of Shin”. This in turn, had the domino effect of making me think of all of the studying I’ve been doing on Psalm 23 when it says the valleys of the shadow of death. Some translations just call it to the valleys of shadows. This is in the King James Version (as I learned it as a child) Psalm 23:4:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

 

What has been most meaningful to me is that not only is it promised that he will be with us as we go through those valleys but those valleys are not places we camp out where we get stuck in the trenches or we are left or forgotten. He walks through the valleys with us. The valleys are not permanent and there is to be movement on our parts but he also promises to walk on our left on our right beside behind and before us with rod and staff in hand.

 

This is the English standard translation:

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

 

Finally I believe there are a lot of things that we will not have the answers for this set of eternity. For example with unanswered prayers about relationships or pain or any number of things the valleys can get very very very deep. But I will end with this in that he promises I am not aloneDeuteronomy 31:6,  He collects my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8 there is a reason for everything Romans 8:28 He is sovereign and perhaps more good can come of a bad situation then if everything was fine because there would be so many people and lessons I would not have had the opportunity to meet or interact with that have enriched my life.

 

Case in point like the wonderful ultrasound technician I met today and the receptionist who was so wonderful helping me when I realized I got there and in my brain fog and everything else had forgotten the actual script!

 

 

I will leave you with this:

In a sermon by P. G. Matthew of Grace Valley Christian Center, entitled “The Lord Will Go Before Us” he provides a number of very useful references that can be found on the sermon’s transcript here and below. To be fair, I know nothing of their center or of this Pastor but I’m citing the resources to give credit or credit is due.

 

So Isaiah says, “But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the Lord will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard” (v. 12). We can therefore say, with Paul, “Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ” (2 Corinthians 2:14). Always! In life or in death, in trials, persecutions and temptations, in plenty or in want, in sickness or in health, our God always leads us in triumph. As the psalmist declares, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want” (Psalm 23:1).

 

In Isaiah 42:16 the Lord promises, “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” This world has many rough places-problems, pressures and trials of every sort. But do not worry. God takes care of his people.

Isaiah 49:10 is another promise to us from God: “They will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat or the sun beat upon them. He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.” This verse is speaking of our spiritual as well as our physical needs. Man is body and spirit, and God promises to take care of the totality of our being.

Finally, let us consider the promise of Isaiah 43: “But now, this is what the Lord says-he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’” This is the effectual call of God. He summoned us, we came, and we were redeemed. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” (vv. 1-2).

We do not want to go through fire and water, but it is inevitable. God ordains trials and problems in our Christian life. But because God goes before us, we will pass through them without experiencing destruction. What is the reason for this? “For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior” (v.3). As Romans 8:28 tells us, “[W]e know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

In John 10:27-30 Christ promises such perfect security to his sheep: “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I am the Father are one.”

No power in all creation is able to separate us from the grip of God. He purposed to redeem us and has done so in Christ. Now the One who redeemed us will also keep us from falling. No matter where the problem is-in front of us, behind us, on our right or on our left-no one can take eternal life away from us.

 

In suffering, in the deepest darkness, only in the deepest mines are there veins of gold to be found. Only in our understanding of suffering do we come to better define the good. Appreciate the good  more and even joy may be the very treasure buried in the depths of suffering. It may very well be the exact avenue we need to follow to have the capability to discover joy in and of itself and perhaps hopefully the joy of the Lord.

The moon shines brightest on the darkest nights and we have to step away from the comforting street lights, and away from all ambient light to see the moon, stars and Milky Way. Is it not the same with the comforts of mental, emotional, physical or spiritual comforts?

Opposites help define the other  the most succinctly and effectively sometimes. So perhaps the darkness- whatever form that takes (and it may be multilayered) is there to lead us to the treasure we would not find any other way. Maybe we find the opposites coexisting as a means to better cling tightly to the lessons and treasures discovered. Perhaps we will need to stay for however long in this place  to keep us grasping white knuckled to His treasures, Not in fear but in love and reverence and hope. Treasures like His promises, His presence, His faithfulness, His protection, His sovereignty, above all else His love to be there in all of this walking within and with and besides us in and through this utter darkness so that we know not only is He is God but HE KNOWS OUR NAME.

“I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who call you by your name.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭45‬:‭3‬ ‭ESV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/59/isa.45.3.ESV

“Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭49‬:‭16‬ ‭ESV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/59/isa.49.16.ESV

“O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights? Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭27‬-‭29‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/116/isa.40.27-29.NLT

“But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you. I am the Lord, who opened a way through the waters, making a dry path through the sea. I called forth the mighty army of Egypt with all its chariots and horses. I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned, their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick. “But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43‬:‭1‬-‭2‬, ‭4‬, ‭16‬-‭19‬, ‭25‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/116/isa.43.1-25.NLT

There are many things that are idols but not what we think of in the classic definition. To borrow from a very good sermon by a good friend and pastor, “Worship belongs to God. What we don’t want to give over to him are idols.

What do we worship? Social media? Validation? Validation via social media? Looks, success, physical possessions, our own thoughts or opinions, money and the back up provision plan b, hobbies, activities. Idols are anything our lives revolve around. In our thoughts, attention, energy. It could be good on the surface but to what extent/ degree does it tilt to becoming something we think or focus on more than God? That we look to for solace in? The things that make the brokenness feel better.”

It was so easy for me to have this righteous anger all day as I contemplated our nation’s and community’s (both secular and Christian) obsession with sports in particular as its Super Bowl Sunday and the local team is playing. But then as I spoke to family in England and how dearly I missed them, how convinced I am I was born in the wrong decade and wrong country, that I have my own idols just of a different nature.

The line may not be as obvious but I fell apart and had a complete meltdown when realizing I may not be able to go visit as planned. I envy the fact that they have an extended family, that I feel cheated out of one being not only an only child but also single and having no children either. I honestly don’t know if it’s an idol or not but I’d rather be safe and say it is and be wrong to say I idolize being married and having a child.

I couldn’t sleep the other night because the pain was so bad and this searing burning sensation in my big right toe had me in both such agony and shock because it’s been my left leg that’s been getting worse. It’s been getting harder to walk or sit or stand for very long now and driving more than 5-7 minutes becomes unbearable.

I’ve had two doctors now tell me “well since you’re allergic to steroids and muscle relaxants and all we do is injections and surgery there’s nothing we can do. Good luck” and not even refill the one medication I can take. I idolize good health. I can’t remember a day without pain in the last 5 months.

I’ve been listening to a lot of different music to try a cope from choral to old gospel, new worship music, classical to the Carpenters, James Taylor and Henri Mancini theme songs. But as I lay here I’ve realized an additional number of things.

In the hymn “Nearer my God, to Thee” the opening line is Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

E’en though it be a cross that raiseth me,
still all my song shall be,

nearer, my God, to thee;

nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!”

I can only hope when hope feels like a four letter word these days that I would feel that way instead. As it is I question if I even believe the words I’m singing in the contemporary songs sung this morning from one refrain to the next

I know feelings and thoughts are deceitful at times, such as when I finally put the right word down to how I felt about myself as being “defective” or that I question His ability to heal. I go from praising and crying in gratitude that He’s with me to in nearly three heartbeats later questioning everything. The firey darts have been raining down at such a pace it takes me sometimes even 48 hours to find the word to describe what I’m feeling. Or even realize that what I’ve been thinking are not my thoughts but lies whispered so cleverly in my own peculiar way of reasoning I don’t even see it.

A friend and I were recalling an old neighbor’s decision to just take to her bed because of a number of reasons and the most paramount of them was that she lost the will to live.

My question however is that in hymns like “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus”, “All to Jesus I Surrender” or even the song “Glory, Glory” by Odetta and many people including Corrie Ten Boom say essentially “take heart, the best is yet to come” when referring to principles in verses like Romans 8:18: “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”.

It makes me realize how much I long for this all to be over and done so that I may be with Him. Focusing too much on the eternal end result can be very detrimental when having to deal with the realities of the time between now and then.

I can say it is so dark I have lost the will to live (in these current conditions) like the woman my friend and I were speaking about and that every morning I wake up disappointed I did so. I know this will pass but right now it is a battlefield. But I put on the armor as detailed in Ephesians 6 and say to God if you want me here another day I will do my best to love like you did and follow where you lead but You need to help me get through the next hour, and the rest of the day because I can’t in my own strength. I will look for You, the moments of good and be thankful as best I can.  I know now the value of the word through in psalm 23:4 that we walk through the valley of death, we do not sit and make camp there, are forgotten and/or left there, but He guides us through. Yet still I fight to know the armor isn’t defective, I’m not required to hold in up in my own strength, but I fight to know if I’m even putting it on right- if my ability to do so is somehow compromised by something I’ve done. But I know that’s not true and He has promised to fight for me but battle weary is an understatement and the value of discernment never fully more evident.

In John Bunyan’s 2nd book of the Pilgrim’s Progress Christian’s wife, sons a woman from his home town come to the Valley of the shadow of death and Christina says “Then said CHRISTIANA to MERCY, “Now I see what my poor husband went through. I have heard much of this place, but I never was here afore now; poor man! he went here all alone in the night–he had night almost quite through the way; also these fiends were busy about him, as if they would have torn him in pieces. Many have spoken of it; but none can tell what the Valley of the Shadow of Death should mean until they come in it themselves.”

I don’t know how much more He needs to do or what walls remain to be broken down until something changes, but maybe the change has already come and this is my new normal. And I’m just now realizing the idols I have and what I’ve taken for granted. I go back to Paul writing in Philippians 1:23-24: “But I am hard-pressed between the two. I have the desire to leave [this world] and be with Christ, for that is far, far better; yet to remain in my body is more necessary and essential for your sake.”

It is the “for your sake” even that I envy. I do not currently know and even question if I ever will know for what or who’s sake this reality (well to be honest, the last four years) is going the way it is except that Romans 8:28 says there is a reason for it.

For what it’s worth, this has taught me more about how different my life now than previously, how different it is from the vast majority of those I know, and how differently I see and cling to Jesus. I am not going to go so far as to say I’ll be boasting in my weakness anytime soon, but I will say if this post has helped anyone else feel like they’re not alone in any of the thoughts or emotions expressed then it was worth it. And that’s God’s doing, not mine.

Woke up from a nightmare of being in a long term recovery hospital where there were some who I haven’t thought of in years were being released after a full healing and she said “I finally get to see my girl”. “Oh?” I said, “I didn’t know you have kids”. “Just my one little girl, I haven’t been able to see her much but I hopefully will now”. I just smiled, too emotional to speak.

A little observant boy was looking at me intently and as children are sometimes more insightful than we give them credit for and a bit more direct than we’d like, asked me “you want kids too don’t you?” “Yes, I would like to have a girl too but it hasn’t worked out that way.”

Then it switched and my bed was outside and it was summer and warm, I was on a rooftop with an inner room as well. But this time I was all alone and just like the question, the emptiness felt just as painful.

I woke up asking why I would be reminded of this. And after an hour of going back and forth trying to get comfortable because of the pain – which I honestly think was affected by the dream too- and get “comfortable” again with God I realized it’s my turn to be up at 3 am unable to sleep.

I thought back to yesterday where I got a beautiful card from my best friend and how much it blessed me, as her friendship does flat out. Then I remembered the “Flowers” song by Samantha Ebert I “just so happened” to hear for the first time as the radio station KLOVE was introducing it. After getting nerve testing done (I was not expecting the actual electrical shocks to test the nerves themselves) I thought I can’t drive but at least I can try and walk the block. It was nearly 50° and sunny and still relatively early in the evening.

I walked ¾ of a mile and although that’s nothing compared to 6-7 I’d do at a clip last summer, it’s more than I’ve done in months. But more importantly, it was taking my mom’s advice to not listen to lies. The lies of self assessment and fear that I won’t be able to walk despite the truth that it is getting harder. But I also, I’m in no position to play fortune teller and say this is what’s going to happen. Only God knows knows what’s going to happen because He’s already had a plan for this. There’s a reason it’s happening (do I know all or even one or two? No. But again, I’m not God and can’t see the long game). He’s walking with me everyday just as real as He was for the half hour yesterday, and is with me now as I write this.

To be brutally honest, facing prison or stoning or a firing squad for keeping my faith sometimes seems easier than the intangible battles fought in my mind, the whispered lies from my being “defective”, “unlovable” “forgettable” or just plain  “not worth the effort” because if I wasn’t I wouldn’t be writing this with only my cat for company. It’s the intangible mental battles that bring the most emotional turmoil spiritually and having to discern the bars I’ve erected myself versus facing man made ones is harder to see. Things like habits, attitudes, perspectives (like black and white thinking or any others on a common list of cognitive distortions) are just a few examples.

But then I realized yes, I’ve been up for going on two hours now but I have indoor plumbing on the same floor no less, a warm bed to get back into, a cat who reminds me of what unconditional love can look like, internet, electricity, cell service and a phone if there was an emergency, new worship music, the ability to walk and still drive, a church, family, friends and most importantly above and beyond all this a God who is with me and is completely sovereign over this entire thing. He has been since it began, He’s been faithful in so many ways in my life before and promises to always be so.

So yes I have a lot going on and a lot I could see as negative or I can do my best to stay focused on not only the good I can see now but the good He promises to come from all this in Romans 8:28. I used to have mixed feelings about that before, but now I cling to it. I may not know the whys or hows, but He does; as seen in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

And the Amplified Bible translation for Romans 8:28 has been the most helpful recently:

“And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.”

Matthew 28:20b

“I am with you always [remaining with you perpetually—regardless of circumstance, and on every occasion], even to the end of the age.”

As He told Israel, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.” (Jeremiah 31:3), He says now in John 3:16-17 ““For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge and condemn the world [that is, to initiate the final judgment of the world], but that the world might be saved through Him.”

So if I’ve lost sleep and have to get up in two hours, what is that compared to all I do have? If I can sleep, wonderful but if not I have The Truths above, inside me, and finally Matthew 6:26:

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

Just a few phrases and facts to preface this with (if this were a scientific or psychological or professional peer reviewed article consider this the abstract):

“People don’t care what you know until they know you care”

“To fix a problem you need to acknowledge there is one to begin with”

“We cannot change another person’s behavior or beliefs or the like. That is ultimately up to them – and for good reason, they’re not going to be coming to you at 3 am. They’re going to go to their behaviors and higher power not you. All you can do is offer what has worked for you, plant the seed and love them as they make their decision(s) and continue to love them even if when they make said decision it’s not the one you were hoping for”.

“People only hear what they want to and are capable of hearing.”

“If they say they care then they will make the time to communicate with you. It doesn’t have to be a 3 hour conversation every night, but if they care they will make the time.”

“Truth is subjective until it isn’t anymore. Our eyes actually transmit what we see to our brains through the visual cortex and it gets flipped on the horizontal axis so our brains process reality upside down, or reality is really reversed than how we perceive it” (upside down kingdom)

“The simple things in life are the most beautiful, precious, often fleeting and hardest to follow” (keep it simple, stupid)

“Yesterday’s gone, tomorrow – even the next heartbeat- is not promised, all we have is today”

“Contrary to popular belief, people can change. To say that’s just how they are, they’ll never change, excuses them of responsibility and robs them the opportunity of growing through a new behavior (be it mental, verbal, emotional, spiritual), lifestyle or mindset. But they will only change if they want to”

“Hurt people hurt people”

That’s enough to chew on for a while for sure but there are some things that I think deserve additional attention to flesh out the full implications and not have it taken out of context.

One of my favorite movies growing up was the Princess Bride and one of the best lines is “Life is suffering highness. Whoever tells you anything else is selling you something”. Even Jesus, whether you believe in Him or not, said in John 16:33 that “in this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world”

We are all broken people- none of us are perfect, have a perfect life despite our social media highlight reels and are living in a broken world whose very existence is treated with every passing year with worse and worse chemicals being injected or into our farms and food supplies, is has been a long standing fact that it’s nearly impossible to eat healthy if you’re forced to watch your food budget.

Many are forced to choose between food and paying for rent, utilities, transportation and other basic necessities. At the time of this Feeding America report in 2018, one in nine adults and one in seven children lived in households without consistent access to adequate food. When analyzed in 2018, across the 37 million those individuals estimated to be food insecure, however, the national shortfall stands at nearly 19.5 billion. Through the lens of local meal costs, it is possible to see how difficult it is to afford enough food to live active healthy lives.

Not only that but making necessary dietary changes to account for health reasons such as gluten intolerance or other allergies for example can add quite easily an additional $200 a month to an individual’s food budget. This is to say nothing of the stress of having to constantly have on hand food that you are able to eat, be able to find a local restaurant that offers food you are able to eat and deal with at the very cheapest $3 for exchanging white wheat or rye toast for Cauliflower bread.

But this is representative of our societal and individual starvation and cost we are expected to pay to even get proper “nutrition”. We are the most connected, fastest growing generation concerning technological advancement, progress and availability of information (what once ranged about 80 years now only takes about 2.5), yet we more isolated, lonely, overlooked and neglected who not only lack connection, but even the language, capacity or ability to build those lacking skills for want of available resources such as free or low cost events to gather with others in real life versus via some sort of screen.

“US Trends in Social Isolation, Social Engagement, and Companionship”

presented us with the following sad but true supporting research findings in 2022:

Social connectedness is essential for health and longevity, while isolation exacts a heavy toll on individuals and society. We present U.S. social connectedness magnitudes and trends as target phenomena to inform calls for policy-based approaches to promote social health. Using the 2003–2020 American Time Use Survey, this study finds that, nationally, social isolation increased, social engagement with family, friends, and ‘others’ (roommates, neighbors, acquaintances, coworkers, clients, etc.) decreased, and companionship (shared leisure and recreation) decreased.

Humans are one of the most social of all animals and seek frequent, on-going social engagement . Social isolation (i.e., social deficits indicated by infrequent or insufficient engagement with others) is linked to decrements in health and longevity. Isolated individuals are at elevated risk for cardiovascular disease, dementia, infectious disease, low functional status, anxious or depressed mood, biological markers of poor health (e.g., C-reactive protein, fibrinogen levels), and mortality including overdose and suicide. Isolation is comparable to or rivals other well-known mortality risk factors like air pollution, smoking, and inactivity. (Kannan VD, Veazie PJ.)

We have to actively fight this epidemic and engage with others even if it means going out of your comfort zone- in fact it would be better for all parties involved if this were the case- to facilitate human contact, listen to and possibly learn from each other, express (or learn) empathy, compassion and a different perspective. If all we ever do is stay within our comfort zone of already established societal bubbles, what would keep us from intellectual, emotional and mental stagnation at best or atrophy if brutally honest?

We only know less than 1/10th of what any individual is going through and even your closest friends and family members if you are lucky enough to have them often still hold back.

We all have gone through periods of hurting, have recently come out of it, are in it, or are about to go into it. We need to recognize that if we do something as small as make eye contact or even smile at a stranger that could potentially be lifesaving. Adding a compliment not based on their appearance (such as their smile or thanking them for service if at a check out counter, or especially if they are wearing any type of uniform or veteran’s hat etc) can increase this impact ten-fold. Doing so actually helps us ease our own hurt and potentially theirs however briefly. However, let us not discount this powerful action based on the length of the interaction.

Unfortunately it may be easier to do this for strangers because of the brevity mentioned. When it comes to friends and family if we say we care we actually need to back that up and show up instead of just one or two sentences on the inside of a holiday card. They need us just as much as we need them and if regular contact is not maintained – however short and through whatever platform or method(s) are most comfortable- then we need to evaluate the situation. Time is something that flies by too fast and we are never promised and even sending a simple text asking how their day is going or sharing something that made you laugh can do wonders. It’s the simple intangibles that often go farther than we will ever realize.

We need to be willing to change and reject the lie that people will never change. Yes it might take a near death experience- hopefully not- but people can and do change when they want to. And change for the better.

But none of this will take place if we don’t at least acknowledge that the current situation is what it is and that there are crises, wounds, secret “hanging on only by a thread” individuals in our lives that we most likely do not even realize because society and our experiences have taught us to hide it so well.

It’s getting better than it was a number of years ago, but there is still a lot of work to be done.

Be kind to someone. It takes so little. Or if that’s too challenging at this moment, try to refrain from verbalizing one negative comment at least once this week.

I tend to forget or more downplay the specifics of God’s faithfulness and that He’s always wanting to hear from me.

But even though I’m trying to keep a journal I do think that God wants to show us how He goes with us (as believers God is IN us, closer than our breath) and is faithful everyday.

As the prayer He taught asks us to ask for / “give us this day our daily bread” and Jesus is the bread of life, wouldn’t it make sense that He knew we’d struggle with this (granted some more than others)?  Perhaps more importantly that we be asking for Him to reveal Himself and His attributes again each day not only because we may tend to forget it but because Jesus knew we’d need it to get through the day?

(I think the more we ask, the more we learn new answers and the closer we become; ie it’s not transactional to ask for daily bread, but a first question in a dialogue that is the basis for a true, authentic relationship NOT religion or a transactional relationship / quid pro quo).

I know volumes could/have been written about that prayer but as my Godfather said once, we could spend a life studying it and never get out all that there is to get out of it

By going back to His faithfulness it helps me with gratitude; something I have a lot of but either don’t vocalize it well enough or focus on it enough.

It’s strange because there are so many things I am grateful for but for as many things there are, there are as many instances of my forgetfulness to keep it in the forefront of my mind.

Now this is not to say I’m negating anything, ignoring the problems and pretending everything is coming up roses. There are a majority of days where I can only list one or two things at that point in time.

And in my book that’s a win- to even think of one in the darkness; for His sacrifice which allows me to have a restored relationship with God. To have Christ’s sacrifice take on the necessary atonement in my place. He died so I could live.

There’s a reason the temple curtain separating the Holy of Holies was torn from top to bottom when He died – no man could ever restore the ability to have a relationship with God because we are not perfect or holy and so Christ’s perfect, sinless life met the demands of the sacrifice to enter into the holy of holies and speak with God. Christ’s willingness to do so is the ultimate display of love and now when God looks at me, He doesn’t see me in my mistakes and failures and inability to enter on my own merit. He sees Christ. He’s made a way for me to come to Him anytime day or night, in any way shape or form and talk to Him. And He did this because He loves me and wants a relationship with me.

For that will always be my ultimate gratitude. I’m just working on keeping my eyes on that and watching how many other examples stem from that and grow upwards and outwards in all directions.

Here are commentaries regarding the above that can explain it better than I:

1. The Veil being torn from top to bottom:

The most prominent use of the veil in the Bible is found in the context of the tabernacle and later the temple. The veil served as a physical barrier separating the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place, or the Holy of Holies, where the Ark of the Covenant was kept. This veil symbolized the separation between God and humanity due to sin. In Exodus 26:33, God instructs Moses, “Hang the veil under the clasps, and there you are to bring the ark of the Testimony, behind the veil. The veil will separate the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place.”

The veil’s significance is further highlighted in the New Testament during the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. At the moment of His death, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom, as recorded in Matthew 27:51: “At that moment the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth quaked and the rocks were split.” This event symbolizes the removal of the barrier between God and humanity, granting believers direct access to God through the atoning work of Christ.

1. God seeing Christ’s Righteousness instead of my past and my sin after believing in Christ as my (and the only) savior:

The phrase underscores the necessity of faith in the believer’s life. The Greek word for “believe” (πιστεύω, pisteuō) implies trust and reliance, not mere intellectual assent. This belief is specifically “in Him,” referring to God, who raised Jesus from the dead. The historical context of this statement is crucial, as the early Christians were defining their faith in contrast to both Jewish and pagan beliefs. This belief is not generic but is centered on the specific act of God raising Jesus, which is the cornerstone of Christian faith.

Old Testament, righteousness is often associated with adherence to the Law given to Israel. Deuteronomy 6:25 states, “And if we are careful to observe every one of these commandments before the LORD our God, as He has commanded us, then that will be our righteousness.” However, the prophets also emphasized that true righteousness involves justice, mercy, and humility before God, as seen in Micah 6:8 : “He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you but to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”

In the New Testament, righteousness is closely linked to faith in Jesus Christ. Romans 3:22declares, “And this righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.” This righteousness is not based on human effort but is imputed to believers through faith in Christ’s redemptive work on the cross. The Apostle Paul further explains in Philippians 3:9 , “And be found in Him, not having my own righteousness from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness from God on the basis of faith.”

The relationship between faith and righteousness is integral to the doctrine of justification. Justification is the act of God declaring a sinner righteous on the basis of faith in Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 affirms, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” This peace with God is a result of being clothed in the righteousness of Christ, which is received by faith.

In summary, faith and righteousness are deeply interconnected in the biblical narrative. Faith is the means by which believers receive the righteousness of God, and righteousness is the evidence of a life transformed by faith. Together, they form the foundation of the believer’s relationship with God and the assurance of eternal life.

References:

Topical Resources “Faith and Righteousness”. The Bible Hub. 2024. https://biblehub.com/topical/f/faith_and_righteousness.htm

Topical Resources, “Veil”. The Bible Hub. 2024 https://biblehub.com/topical/v/veil.htm

Out of the many places to hear God, I think wastelands for me are easier (not pleasant but I’ll explain). It’s harder to remember what was said so clearly without any distractions when we’re back in society and there’s so much re-entry and noise and then getting back to life as usual which is full of noise and people- how different from just sheep a burning bush and the stars.

On my missions trips as a teen they always said these are mountaintop moments but don’t forget what you’ve learned here when you go back down into the valley.  Another thing I thought interesting reading this passage again was that God called to Moses twice. He didn’t have to, but they always say if it’s repeated (like Jesus saying truly, truly I tell you,,) pay attention.

It makes me think God called to Moses twice is already signifying who He was. His deity by calling Moses by name, and also not a generic greeting. Plus there’s the option that calling Moses twice was once for his “heart’s ears” and the second his “mind’s ears” if I could explain it in such a way.

And I wonder if Moses had changed his name there because  he fled there after murdering the other Hebrew so was this God calling him out by his true name twice?

So to recap, do we remember what’s told us in the wilderness, when God calls us twice by our names…..does this not boil down to both Emmanuel & His faithfulness? I tend to forget or just downplay both. Despite how many times He calls me, reminds me. But thankfully He understands how human I am, and He actively calls me again and again every morning, all throughout the day and night just to show me how He is working on my behalf. How He calls me because He wants to actively have a relationship with me.

How many times do I talk to my mom or friends throughout the day? Maybe it’s not everyday, other days it’s multiple times a day. But each time it’s because I want to share with them, check in on how they are or because I need to talk. God wants to do that with me all day every day. But He also needs me to stop and process and listen to Him; to give Him room to breathe and speak into me. Through my heart’s ears and my mind’s ears too.

I tend to forget or more downplay the specifics of God’s faithfulness and that He’s always with me.

But even though I’m trying to keep a journal I do think that God wants to show us how He goes with us and is faithful everyday….just as much as it says “give us this day our daily bread” and Jesus is the bread of life. So wouldn’t we be asking for Him to reveal himself and his attributes again each day not only because we may tend to forget it but because Jesus knew we’d need it to get through the day?

And on that it seems like that’s to be said in the morning but it says forgive us our debts as we forgive…but it says not to go to bed angry or still holding a grudge. So maybe that’s there if we weren’t able to, if that internal strife and anger is still there despite, maybe we need to keep chipping away at it again in the morning and/or say it in advance? I know volumes could/have been written about that prayer but as my Godfather said once, we could spend a life studying that one prayer and never get out all that there is to get out of it

Maybe that’s why sometimes I need the wilderness of least distractions or it takes having moments that draw me away from the crowds to rise early in the morning and go up to the mountain and speak with my Father as Jesus did.

Hagar, a non-Israelite, a woman with no power or status, is the first person in Scripture to be visited by an angel and the only person in Scripture to give God a name—El Roi, “the God who sees me.” In the midst of her pain and struggle, Hagar receives God’s blessing and promises. Think about how powerful is it to be really, truly seen.

“He didn’t criticize or lecture her. Rather, our all-knowing God honored her by seeking to understand.”  He asked her questions and didn’t make assumptions prior to even asking them or hearing the answer. Even after hearing her answer He didn’t say anything about her emotions or tough it out, toughen up or that’s just how life is. Yes He said go back, but He talked to her about her son first, He started it all asking about what she was doing – not accusing but seeking to understand and actually waiting and listening for the response.

God actively was listening (without a response already formed halfway through her talking) hearing the pain and hopelessness. He comforts her by addressing all the factors, her pregnancy and her treatment by Sari. So many people act like the former that it’s no wonder it’s so powerful when you feel seen not just visually / emotionally/ mentally assessed. When you’re then talked to in a way that suits the viewer and their perspectives on your situation, how you’re dealing with it and the fact that they at best only know 10-20% just adds insult to injury.

It’s no wonder we have walls.

One of the definitions of breach is to make a gap, to break through a wall (of) defense. I think we all have walls still that although might be different we could still all relate to being hesitant to lowering our defenses.

But we can’t bring them down in our strength. That’s only done in conjunction with Him.

Beneath is a link that will go more into depth about the verses that rhis is all based on.

For further consideration see:

Hagar: The Woman Who Named God

Genesis 16:1-13 ESV

“Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her to Abram her husband as a wife. And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress. And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the Lord judge between you and me!” But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her. The angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, the spring on the way to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” She said, “I am fleeing from my mistress Sarai.” The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel of the Lord also said to her, “I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude.” And the angel of the Lord said to her, “Behold, you are pregnant and shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael, because the Lord has listened to your affliction. He shall be a wild donkey of a man, his hand against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he shall dwell over against all his kinsmen.” So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.””

These were the roses that so fearlessly climbed the ancient walls of cathedrals and universities who have been around for longer than our nation has been in existence let alone “discovered”.

These were the roses that Shakespeare looked upon and used their beauty to show how families, status, traditions and long held hatreds could not stop love.  “A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet” (Romeo and Juliet Act II, Scene II).

These were the roses that also held thorns that became woven into a crown for One whose sacrifice was more painful than imaginable but more beautiful, glorious and precious than the roses.

These were the roses that I in part laid on your casket and still have one bud dried and next to your picture.

These were the roses that carry so much history, so much grief, so much love.

These are the roses I’ve held in reserve for my own hopes and dreams and lay them at Your feet saying as best I can “not my will but Yours be done”.

I know You see me, You are with me, You care and You have a plan.

May we learn from those who came before us both the most recent generations all the way back (and even before Moses) to number our days.

I don’t know how else to come up with a better number than to say my days are 1.

I may live till I’m 80-90 or may only have today left. Not being morbid, just honest that no one knows what exactly will happen except God who knows every single moment of our lives (and did before before we were even born) and so who else to look to for wisdom but Him?

Let us always remember how faithful He has been, the joys we’ve experienced, lessons learned and love shown by Him and through those He’s put in our lives for how long or short a time period.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭90‬:‭12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Planning, goal setting and schedules are certainly not bad in themselves but it can become overwhelming (especially as we begin to approach the holidays). Take it one day at a ; that’s all we’re given truth be told.

**The most important thing is to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, not the clock.**
And He promises to guide our steps if we do.

See link for a number of verses to back this up (https://biblestudyforyou.com/bible-verses-about-god-leading-your-path/)

He is a sanctuary in every way possible. Including mental and emotional in addition to the spiritual and physical as well. Think of basic necessities like food, shelter, safety or look up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for a full listing and see that if we allow Him to, God will provide for all we need. with use people, radio stations, chance encounters, to back up His Words in scripture that “He will never leave us or forsake us” Deuteronomy 31:6

Finally had a prayer answered that’s circumstances has had me in knots for literally months. But I had to leave it in His hands and His time. But He DOES answer prayer and He IS a strong tower and refuge to those who turn to Him. I made not have been able to run to Him; it felt like crawling at points or just putting one foot in front of the other. But what matters is what direction we’re pointed towards, where and with who we want to finish and keeping our eyes and lives focused there throughout the journey.

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭46‬:‭1‬, ‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭32‬:‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“6 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. 7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.”

From Matthew Henry’s commentary on

Matthew 6:25-34:

Note, The heirs of heaven are much better than the fowls of heaven; nobler and more excellent beings, and, by faith, they soar higher; they are of a better nature and nurture, wiser than the fowls of heaven (Job 35:11): though the children of this world, that know not the judgment of the Lord, are not so wise as the stork, and the crane, and the swallow (Jer 8:7), you are dearer to God, and nearer, though they fly in the open firmament of heaven. He is their Master and Lord, their Owner and Master; but besides all this, he is your Father, and in his account ye are of more value than many sparrows; you are his children, his first-born; now he that feeds his birds surely will not starve his babes. They trust your Father’s providence, and will not you trust it? In dependence upon that, they are careless for the morrow; and being so, they live the merriest lives of all creatures; they sing among the branches (Psa 104:12), and, to the best of their power, they praise their Creator. If we were, by faith, as unconcerned about the morrow as they are, we should sing as cheerfully as they do; for it is worldly care that mars our mirth and damps our joy, and silences our praise, as much as any thing.

(2.) Look upon the lilies, and learn to trust God for raiment. That is another part of our care, what we shall put on; for decency, to cover us; for defence, to keep us warm; yea, and, with many, for dignity and ornament, to make them look great and fine; and so much concerned are they for gaiety and variety in their clothing, that this care returns almost as often as that for their daily bread. Now to ease us of this care, let us consider the lilies of the field; not only look upon them (every eyes does that with pleasure), but consider them. Note, There is a great deal of good to be learned from what we see every day, if we would but consider it, Pro 6:6; Pro 24:32.

[1.] Consider how frail the lilies are; they are the grass of the field. Lilies, though distinguished by their colours, are still but grass. Thus all flesh is grass: though some in the endowments of body and mind are as lilies, much admired, still they are grass; the grass of the field in nature and constitution; they stand upon the same level with others. Man’s days, at best, are as grass, as the flower of the grass 1Pe 1:24. This grass today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven; in a little while the place that knows us will know us no more. The grave is the oven into which we shall be cast, and in which we shall be consumed as grass in the fire, Psa 49:14. This intimates a reason why we should not take thought for the morrow, what we shall put on, because perhaps, by tomorrow, we may have occasion for our grave-clothes.

[2.] Consider how free from care the lilies are: they toil not as men do, to earn clothing; as servants, to earn their liveries; neither do they spin, as women do, to make clothing. It does not follow that we must therefore neglect, or do carelessly, the proper business of this life; it is the praise of the virtuous woman, that she lays her hand to the spindle, makes fine linen and sells it, Pro 31:19, Pro 31:24. Idleness tempts God, instead of trusting him; but he that provides for inferior creatures, without their labour, will much more provide for us, by blessing our labour, which he has made our duty. And if we should, through sickness, be unable to toil and spin, God can furnish us with what is necessary for us.

 

 

A link to Matthew Henry’s full commentary can be found here: https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/matthew-henry/Matt.6.25-Matt.6.34