There is something to be said about when Christ becomes so important to us that we ask to become more like Him. There is a phrase that “I should decrease and he should increase” and yet unfortunately we do not get to choose the way In which He makes us more like Him.
It is the dying to self process; this realizing that we are not the center of the universe, we are neither the creators of the universe nor do we have the power to manifest anything to come to us as so many prosperity gospels or new age thinkers believe.
Often times it takes quite a lot to get something to stick for me in my head and my heart, but I thank God that it is done and manageable stages.
Like many good teachers they don’t try to teach you the entire alphabet in 24 hours. You take it letter by letter, day by day, week by week and then weeks turn into months and months into semesters then eventually you’re done with that grade. Thankfully at the end you do know the alphabet and a forever if there comes a time when you don’t you remember the letter sequence you can fall back onto the rhymes that those clever teachers who so joyfully taught and encouraged you along the way. In reality they were also teaching you ways to help remember when under times of stress.
I feel it situations like this when Christ actively takes us up on our offer to transform us and have us become more like him. He uses things that we may or may not be aware of depending on where we are in our walk with Christ – somethings may be more obvious than others – but I think no matter where you are on your walk, things will never happen the same way twice. And for good reason that we don’t become complacent in our lessons.
For me, I’ve learned that pain is something I resonate with and have my entire life because of being so empathetic, going through my own life experiences and listening to others. That’s why I wanted originally to be a therapist but realized after my first master’s course, I would be up at 3 o’clock in the morning worrying about my patients.
For the last four months I’ve had a mild disc herniation with bilateral sciatica that I was told required no surgery- which was wonderful news. However, I found that physical therapy didn’t work because it was not tailored to what I needed- the movements were too big, the drive to strengthen the core too soon and then I found that I was allergic to many of the medication’s they normally would prescribe.
I’ve just been pressing on and doing as much as I can to keep my eyes on Christ in the process but what I’ve realized is He’s working on me through it. He’s brought to light things that have been very helpful such as an increase awareness of empathy for others, but also realizing that I need to go to Him for the answers and not to others. It’s to deepen my relationship with Him and things of my own that still need work.
The acupuncture and massage, a tens unit and essential oils have been extremely helpful thank God as well as quality time over FaceTime with friends or family and I’ve learned to be so much more grateful and how important it is to have an attitude of gratitude. To be honest however, this is something I am still working on it’s not very easy to always be grateful when in such constant pain.
As mentioned previously, I have learned that there are things still to be worked on that I thought I had already worked through and I do believe the entire process of sanctification is very much like that of an onion- they’ll always be one more layer to deal with and more often than not you may crying at times but in the end it makes all the difference. We will never be perfect this side of eternity.
What makes the difference between having hope feel like a four letter word and actually believing that there is a reason for this is not so much that there is a guaranteed healing (because they’re very well may not be, but thee very well can be just the same). The fact that if He is working on me it meant He listened to me all that time ago. If He is working on me through this pain, it can too make me more like him because it creates more empathy and reliance on Him, so a deeper connection. It means He cares enough to want me to be more like Him .
That He loves me and want me. If He didn’t want and love me, why would He want a relationship with me or for me to even be more like Him to begin with?
It means that I learn more about Him through what I’m going through because I can emphasize with the pain he felt. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying or suggesting in any way shape or manner that I know what it’s like to feel the pain of the crucifixion not in the slightest! Rather it is in my experience of this pain reminds me of all the unfathomable pain and horrific death He endured so that He could restore the relationship of all of humanity through His death and resurrection.
He willing became the perfect sacrifice to restore my ability to have a relationship with God the Father and that goes not only for me but for anyone who’s willing to see what He did out of love before I even gave Him a second thought. To accept that we are not perfect and therefore cannot stand in front of God who is completely Holy. Jesus willing suffered all of that pain on our behalf, was crucified although blameless, He lived a perfect life and He took on the sin that separates all of humanity on Himself so when we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior God no longer sees us and the stain of sin but He sees his Son (the perfect sacrificial lamb), looks at us and sees “paid in full”.
Our sins are washed white as snow and we are welcome into His presence anytime day or night and God did all of this because He loves us and wants a restored, loving ever deepening relationship with Him. And most importantly He has been, is now and always be WITH me throughout the entire process, and forevermore.
