Heather Bush

These were the roses that so fearlessly climbed the ancient walls of cathedrals and universities who have been around for longer than our nation has been in existence let alone “discovered”.

These were the roses that Shakespeare looked upon and used their beauty to show how families, status, traditions and long held hatreds could not stop love.  “A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet” (Romeo and Juliet Act II, Scene II).

These were the roses that also held thorns that became woven into a crown for One whose sacrifice was more painful than imaginable but more beautiful, glorious and precious than the roses.

These were the roses that I in part laid on your casket and still have one bud dried and next to your picture.

These were the roses that carry so much history, so much grief, so much love.

These are the roses I’ve held in reserve for my own hopes and dreams and lay them at Your feet saying as best I can “not my will but Yours be done”.

I know You see me, You are with me, You care and You have a plan.

May we learn from those who came before us both the most recent generations all the way back (and even before Moses) to number our days.

I don’t know how else to come up with a better number than to say my days are 1.

I may live till I’m 80-90 or may only have today left. Not being morbid, just honest that no one knows what exactly will happen except God who knows every single moment of our lives (and did before before we were even born) and so who else to look to for wisdom but Him?

Let us always remember how faithful He has been, the joys we’ve experienced, lessons learned and love shown by Him and through those He’s put in our lives for how long or short a time period.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭90‬:‭12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Planning, goal setting and schedules are certainly not bad in themselves but it can become overwhelming (especially as we begin to approach the holidays). Take it one day at a ; that’s all we’re given truth be told.

**The most important thing is to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, not the clock.**
And He promises to guide our steps if we do.

See link for a number of verses to back this up (https://biblestudyforyou.com/bible-verses-about-god-leading-your-path/)

He is a sanctuary in every way possible. Including mental and emotional in addition to the spiritual and physical as well. Think of basic necessities like food, shelter, safety or look up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for a full listing and see that if we allow Him to, God will provide for all we need. with use people, radio stations, chance encounters, to back up His Words in scripture that “He will never leave us or forsake us” Deuteronomy 31:6

Finally had a prayer answered that’s circumstances has had me in knots for literally months. But I had to leave it in His hands and His time. But He DOES answer prayer and He IS a strong tower and refuge to those who turn to Him. I made not have been able to run to Him; it felt like crawling at points or just putting one foot in front of the other. But what matters is what direction we’re pointed towards, where and with who we want to finish and keeping our eyes and lives focused there throughout the journey.

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭46‬:‭1‬, ‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭32‬:‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“6 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. 7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.”

From Matthew Henry’s commentary on

Matthew 6:25-34:

Note, The heirs of heaven are much better than the fowls of heaven; nobler and more excellent beings, and, by faith, they soar higher; they are of a better nature and nurture, wiser than the fowls of heaven (Job 35:11): though the children of this world, that know not the judgment of the Lord, are not so wise as the stork, and the crane, and the swallow (Jer 8:7), you are dearer to God, and nearer, though they fly in the open firmament of heaven. He is their Master and Lord, their Owner and Master; but besides all this, he is your Father, and in his account ye are of more value than many sparrows; you are his children, his first-born; now he that feeds his birds surely will not starve his babes. They trust your Father’s providence, and will not you trust it? In dependence upon that, they are careless for the morrow; and being so, they live the merriest lives of all creatures; they sing among the branches (Psa 104:12), and, to the best of their power, they praise their Creator. If we were, by faith, as unconcerned about the morrow as they are, we should sing as cheerfully as they do; for it is worldly care that mars our mirth and damps our joy, and silences our praise, as much as any thing.

(2.) Look upon the lilies, and learn to trust God for raiment. That is another part of our care, what we shall put on; for decency, to cover us; for defence, to keep us warm; yea, and, with many, for dignity and ornament, to make them look great and fine; and so much concerned are they for gaiety and variety in their clothing, that this care returns almost as often as that for their daily bread. Now to ease us of this care, let us consider the lilies of the field; not only look upon them (every eyes does that with pleasure), but consider them. Note, There is a great deal of good to be learned from what we see every day, if we would but consider it, Pro 6:6; Pro 24:32.

[1.] Consider how frail the lilies are; they are the grass of the field. Lilies, though distinguished by their colours, are still but grass. Thus all flesh is grass: though some in the endowments of body and mind are as lilies, much admired, still they are grass; the grass of the field in nature and constitution; they stand upon the same level with others. Man’s days, at best, are as grass, as the flower of the grass 1Pe 1:24. This grass today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven; in a little while the place that knows us will know us no more. The grave is the oven into which we shall be cast, and in which we shall be consumed as grass in the fire, Psa 49:14. This intimates a reason why we should not take thought for the morrow, what we shall put on, because perhaps, by tomorrow, we may have occasion for our grave-clothes.

[2.] Consider how free from care the lilies are: they toil not as men do, to earn clothing; as servants, to earn their liveries; neither do they spin, as women do, to make clothing. It does not follow that we must therefore neglect, or do carelessly, the proper business of this life; it is the praise of the virtuous woman, that she lays her hand to the spindle, makes fine linen and sells it, Pro 31:19, Pro 31:24. Idleness tempts God, instead of trusting him; but he that provides for inferior creatures, without their labour, will much more provide for us, by blessing our labour, which he has made our duty. And if we should, through sickness, be unable to toil and spin, God can furnish us with what is necessary for us.

A link to Matthew Henry’s full commentary can be found here: https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/matthew-henry/Matt.6.25-Matt.6.34

I recently asked a friend what the difference between belief and trust is, and it was interesting how they can be used interchangeably, but have subtle differences, depending on the context.

Scars and grief are like that as well. Both scars and grief find their origins in a traumatic event. Both have their own need to be addressed and worked through. Both leave lasting effects.

Grief leaves scars on the heart that can be clearly seen in the eyes at certain times. Physical scars are not always visible as well, but can be seen when one decides to reveal its presence to another.

How does all of this relate? Right now, in my journey, I’ve both believed that the grief and scars will heal as much as possible, but what I’ve discovered is not that I do not trust that this will happen or have not trust that it will happen, but rather learn to trust the process of dealing with the reality of the grief and scars existence is an ongoing process. It is worth noting that personally it is an evolutionary process where things do not feel now like they did when I experienced the events that led to both.

For example, there is the grief of losing my grandmother or recalling former mistakes and the scars left from multiple surgeries I’ve had.

One final piece of this that has yet to be addressed is the word faith, which is also commonly found when using the words belief and trust. In the first 24 to 48 hours I had to take it on other peoples’ words that things would get better and have faith that what they said was true. They were right and it did get better. But now I found that even after a decent passage of time, I have had to come to terms with relying on that faith that it has in the most superficial sense gotten better but in reality, I need to remind myself of a faith that got me through in a deeper sense.

Perhaps this would best be explained through the following illustration:

When it summertime and I go down the shore in a bathing suit, some of my scars are visible, and I have to relinquish the conviction that that is all people will see.

Alternatively, when sharing with others, the grief resurfaces, but not to the same ferocity it had in the beginning. However, it did take a few hours for the throbbing of the scars on my heart from said grief to stop throbbing so painfully.

Yet I would not trade either the scars or the grief because they create not only a point in which another individual and I can relate, but also compose parts of my testimony, which in the long run is the most important.